Balancing all of life’s demands–school, employment, relationships, and finances–can be exhausting for everyone. In addition to our daily struggles, going through specific changes – such as losing a job, going through a break-up, doubting one’s identity, or burying a loved one – may be difficult for everyone.
As a friend, you are in a unique position to detect warning indications that someone you care about is becoming overburdened by stress, anxiety, or unhappiness.
Behaviour Changes
- They are no longer involved in activities that they once enjoyed.
- Isolation from friends and family, as well as fewer communication than usual
- Getting more sleep but still feeling exhausted
- Being less efficient at work or school
- Eating differently, either losing appetite or eating significantly more than normal
- Increasing their drug and alcohol consumption
- Displaying poor judgement or decreased inhibitions
Changes in appearance
- Neglecting hygiene or basic care, such as how frequently they bathe or change their clothes
- Looking exhausted or melancholy on a regular basis
- Significant weight loss or gain
Mood swings
- Having difficulty coping with ordinary stresses or obstacles, or worrying and stressing out more than usual
- Overreacting to situations or becoming easily depressed, frustrated, angry, or violent
- Constantly depressed and hopeless
Changes in what they post online
- Posting comments such as, “I hate myself,” or “I suck at everything.”
- Posting dark poetry or quotes, disturbing songs or videos
- Using hashtags that are connected to topics you find unusual or worrisome for them (#overit #imdone #igiveup).
- Using sad, distressed emoticons or emoticons of destructive things such as guns and knives
Changes in what they say to you or others
- “I’m totally worthless.”
- “I’m messing up everything in my life.”
- “What’s the point?”
- “I wish I could just not wake up.”
- “I’ve let people down.”
- “I don’t feel well.” (Or expressing other physical complaints, like constant headaches, exhaustion, or stomach cramps)
- Frequent negative comments about their weight or other aspects of their appearance
Even when our instincts tell us that something is amiss with one of our friends, we second-guess ourselves because we don’t want to offend or push them away by making the erroneous assumption. Being a good friend includes being present when someone we care about is going through a difficult period. This entails following your instincts and taking the risk of being open and honest about what you’ve observed and why you’re concerned.
