At just 23 years old, Emily Alyn Lind already has nearly two decades of experience in Hollywood, and she’s finally talking about the emotional toll it’s taken.
Sitting down for coffee at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, Lind recalls a moment early in her career when someone from her own team betrayed her. “I’m not going to tell you who,” she says. But the memory is still sharp. She was a kid then, but even at that age, she had no problem standing her ground. “I’m blunt when I need to be. I can look someone in the eye and say, ‘You messed up.’ And I was like that even when I was small.”
That kind of directness made people uncomfortable, including her own family. But she never saw why that should stop her. “Guys, do it. So why shouldn’t I?”
Looking back, Lind wonders if her early boldness was real courage or just “fake confidence,” the kind that’s often expected from child actors trying to keep up in adult environments. “You learn not to trust too much, not to show vulnerability,” she says. “But eventually, I realised I was missing out on the real parts of life.”
She now finds strength in openness, quoting Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in ourselves be found.” In other words, true resilience comes from risking pain, not avoiding it.
Many know Lind from the reboot of Gossip Girl, which aired for two seasons on HBO Max. While it brought her mainstream attention, she says she’s been acting since age five, long before that show ever came along. Born to actress Barbara Alyn Woods (One Tree Hill) and director John Lind, Emily grew up around the reality of hard work in the entertainment industry.
Her filmography is wide-ranging, from The Secret Life of Bees to Doctor Sleep. But despite the appearances, she learned early that fame is fleeting. “You’re someone one day, forgotten the next,” she says. “None of that matters if you’re not doing what you love.”
So when Gossip Girl was cancelled, she wasn’t crushed. “It had run its course,” she says. She misses the cast and living in New York, but the experience opened new creative doors.
Lind has recently written both a movie and a series, and she’s now working on how to bring them to life, possibly even directing. “Acting, honestly, sometimes feels like being a puppet,” she says. “It can be exhausting being the one on display all the time.” That’s why she’s drawn to directing, where she can shape the vision, not just perform it.
Still, stepping into that new role comes with fear. “I might completely screw up. I might make the worst movie ever,” she says. “But I’m okay with that now. Because I really do want to be part of making things, not just starring in them.”
Lind isn’t on social media and rarely uses her phone. Not as a statement, just because she finds it overwhelming. Instead, she talks with people. Watches movies. Goes to theatres weekly when she can. She’s always been fascinated by classic cinema and the work behind the camera. “Bette Davis shaped so much of who I am,” she says. “Total badass.”
In her teens, she became obsessed with how movies were made, not just who starred in them. “Directing felt like real power,” she says. “It gave me a voice.”
In her latest project, Lind plays Cadence in We Were Liars, based on E. Lockhart’s bestselling novel. The series follows a wealthy family harbouring dark secrets, and a shocking twist: three of Cadence’s closest friends died in a fire she accidentally caused. Her character is layered and deeply flawed, and Lind embraced the challenge of portraying that.
She helped shape the final scene, a long, emotionally raw shot of Cadence running down the beach, leaving her family behind. “I jumped into the boat and took off for real,” she says. “It felt magical.”
Though the show ends with questions still lingering, Lind believes there’s more story to tell, especially about Cadence’s guilt and the complex legacy of her privileged upbringing. “She’s not walking away with clean hands,” Lind says. “She’s carrying all of it with her.”
In quiet moments, Lind reflects on growing older and what it means to live fully, with all the messiness and pain that comes with it. “When you’re a kid, you feel invincible,” she says. But death and loss have shifted her perspective. She’s not afraid of dying. She just wants to live with meaning.
Years ago, she wrote “can’t wait to get wrinkles” in her Instagram bio, a tribute to the idea that scars and lines show you’ve lived. “Now that I have a few, I’m like, maybe not,” she laughs. But the message still stands.
“I’ve let people hurt me, help me, and everything in between. I’ve been screwed over. And I’m still standing.”
