Tori Spelling recently opened up about the moment that gave her the strength to walk away from her nearly two-decade-long marriage to Dean McDermott. On a new episode of her Misspelling podcast, the Beverly Hills, 90210 star shared that it was a powerful question from her 13-year-old daughter Hattie that made her truly reconsider her relationship.
Hattie asked, “Have you ever thought about being with someone else and being treated the way you deserve?”—a question Spelling says came from a place of love and concern, not blame. She explained that her daughter wasn’t trying to criticize her dad but could clearly see the emotional toll the marriage was taking on her.
Spelling, 51, admitted that things had become so strained at home that it was no longer healthy for their five children to witness. “We couldn’t hide it anymore—the fighting, the tension. It became obvious to the kids,” she said. One of the main sources of strain, she noted, was McDermott’s struggle with alcoholism, which made the household dynamic even more difficult, particularly for their daughters.
Although the couple had previously faced challenges—most notably McDermott’s 2013 affair, which Spelling says she kept quiet about due to his mental health crisis—the actress now sees that staying together “for the kids” was doing more harm than good. McDermott was reportedly placed under psychiatric care after threatening suicide during that time.
The former couple, who share five children—Liam (18), Stella (16), Hattie (13), Finn (12), and Beau (8)—officially filed for divorce in March 2024, a year after announcing their separation.
Since the split, both have moved on. Spelling has been dating Ryan Cramer and recently appeared with him at public events, including a red carpet appearance in Los Angeles. McDermott, meanwhile, has found love with Lily Calo, making their relationship Instagram official in May 2024.
Spelling’s candid reflection serves as a reminder of how even tough decisions can lead to healing—especially when driven by the need to protect and be a better example for your children.
