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Michelle Obama stirred up quite a bit of speculation when she wasn’t seen at Donald Trump’s inauguration, even though her husband, former President Barack Obama, was there. It was an unwritten tradition for former First Ladies to attend such events, so her absence quickly sparked rumors. Many people jumped to conclusions, suggesting that her marriage to Barack Obama was in trouble, overlooking the more obvious reason: Michelle simply didn’t like Donald Trump. However, Michelle later explained that she made the conscious decision not to attend.
The gossip didn’t stop there. People continued to speculate when Michelle was also absent from Jimmy Carter’s funeral, where she would have had to sit next to Trump. For a while, Michelle let the rumors run wild without commenting, but eventually, she took the opportunity to clear the air. In the latest episode of her podcast IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, she discussed how difficult it was to make the choice that was right for her and how people couldn’t accept that she simply didn’t want to attend for personal reasons.
Michelle reflected on how everyone assumed there had to be a bigger reason for her decision—specifically, that her marriage was falling apart—because they couldn’t understand that her choice wasn’t about her relationship but about her own feelings. She admitted it was incredibly hard for her to stick with what felt right for her, especially when the pressure to do what was expected was so strong.
For the first time, Michelle decided to follow her instincts and not attend the inauguration. She had never been a fan of Trump’s leadership, particularly his “demeaning” stance on women’s rights, and she simply didn’t want to be there. She acknowledged that there was a strong tradition for former First Ladies to attend such events, and she worried about the public perception of her absence. However, she knew that if she attended just because it was the expected thing to do, it would not be true to herself.
She even admitted that she had to “trick” herself into not falling for the social pressure to show up. She started by telling her team that she wouldn’t even need a dress for the event. This way, she wouldn’t be guilted into going just for appearances. After all, as First Lady, she was always in the public eye and often had to justify her every move. Now, however, she’s learning how to say “no” and is teaching her daughters—and other young women—the importance of living for themselves. Michelle pointed out that if she kept saying “yes” just to please others, she’d be perpetuating the unrealistic expectations that women, especially those from older generations, have always faced.
In the end, Michelle Obama’s decision wasn’t just about not attending an event; it was about reclaiming her own space, setting boundaries, and refusing to do something she didn’t believe in, even if society expected it.